Marvel Movie Marathon

I mentioned a while back that having a Marvel movie marathon sounds like a good idea and that I’d put together a sample schedule for such a marathon.

Well here it is, in all its sample glory. This would be one sweet movie marathon, if I do say so myself. If only we had latent superpowers unlocked by sleep deprivation, instead of anger.

The rule of thumb I used for selecting the movies was that I chose the first movie in a series to favor a variety of “origin story” movies, rather than following the sequels of any particular series. Your mileage may vary. Spider-man 2, for example, is widely regarded as one of the best superhero movies of all time. The Punisher is, well, “meh” at best. Just be thankful I didn’t include Howard the Duck.

Also, I put the films in chronological order of their release for no particularly good reason. Perhaps it will help you appreciate the special effects as they go from worst to best. Enjoy!

Marvel Movie Marathon Movies

Blade

My take: Wesley Snipes plays a vampire hunter who really hates vampires and their midnight rave blood-shower parties. What a buzzkill.

X-Men

My take: Patrick Stewart plays himself as a totally awesome psychic leader of superhero mutants battling other villainous mutants. Things go boom. Punches are exchanged.

Spider Man

My take: Tobey Maguire plays a half-human, half-spider. Surprisingly, very few fluids are sucked out of ensnared victims. Mostly, stuff blows up and people smooch and whatnot.

Daredevil

My take: Ben Affleck plays a leather-clad superhero lawyer. His powers of filing briefs and clocking billable hours are unparalleled.

The Punisher

My take: The Punisher fights crime using….no superpowers and pretty conventional weaponry. He’s like Batman without infinite resources, a utility belt, or any kind of working ethical system.

Fantastic Four

My take: Astronauts become superheros who battle an evil CEO while in skin-tight, sexy uniforms. The American dream in a nutshell.

Iron Man

My take: A cocky millionaire invents cold fusion and a flying mechanical battle suit with the help of various robots and artificial intelligences of his own design. This is Showgirls for engineers.

The Incredible Hulk

My take: A man who turns into a gigantic, super-powered green fighting machine? Credible. His pants stay intact post-transformation? Incredible.

Thor

My take: The god of thunder comes to earth to participate in a deadly martial arts tournament….oh wait. That’s Mortal Kombat. In this one, the god of thunder goes to New Mexico and flirts with an attractive astrophysicist. Which film do you think is more plausible?

Captain America: The First Avenger

My take: Captain America – the superhero who is…really strong due to chemical enhancements…and he has a shield. So – he’s pretty much Barry Bonds with a shield instead of a bat.

The Avengers

My take: Calling Team Awesome! Assemble in the flying aircraft carrier and fight an evil God and his invincible alien army from another dimension! Clearly the best movie ever made.

Marvel Movie Marathon Schedule

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