My wife and I have decided to experiment with “kid friendly zones” in our movie marathons and have updated this year’s schedule accordingly. 5:00 PM – 9:30 PM and 8:45 AM – 12:00 PM will be a mix of live-action and animated features suitable to younger children.
All of our previous movie marathons have been adult-oriented, so this will be a first-of-a-kind for us!
There are twelve Friday the 13th movies. These twelve movies were released over a period of 30 years. I’ll let that sink in for a bit. That comes to one new Friday the 13th every two-and-a-half years since 1980. When you are hankerin’ for images of the brutal murders of foolhardy half-naked young people by an unstoppable killing machine – this series has you covered.
I’m not sure what to make of this. Is this a bad thing? A harbinger of the end of civilization? If so, I’m one of the four horsemen – I’ve personally watched somewhere around six to seven of these movies (I forget how many – they all kind of run together after a while).
While no box set of the 12 movies exists to my knowledge, you could still buy each individually and make a 24-hour movie marathon out of it. Still, these are very short films. A lot of padding is required to make it work. If you embark on this marathon, I wish you good luck!
My take: The first Friday the 13th was actually like a real movie. It had plot twists, was suspenseful, had horror, that sort of thing. If you watch one, watch this one.
My take: Jason – IN 3D! Here’s a drinking game for you – take a drink every time there is a 3D moment in this movie. You know what they are: “Oh look! A rake! Here it comes right at us in 3-D!”
My take: Hoo boy. I’m already getting tired of Friday the 13th movies and just writing pithy statements about them. Clearly the watching experience would be much better! I’m sure no one will be thinking “how many more do we have again??” by now.
My take: So at this point in the marathon I would have to think all of the Friday the 13th movies would start melting together – like perhaps the paintings “Persistence of Time” or “The Scream”.12:00
My take: Jason in space. I think the world has really missed an opportunity by not making “Alien vs. Jason” and “Star Wars: Episode VII Jason Strikes Back”
My take: A reboot? What is there to reboot? Yes, clearly the mythology of the series was just too darn top-heavy and had to be cleared away for a fresh perspective.Yeah. You be the judge.
Friday the 13th Movie Marathon Schedule
And here is how you would lay them all out into a 24-hour schedule. These movies are short, so you’ll have abundant break times between titles. Maybe mix in a few horror shorts?
Usually, the goal of a 24-hour movie marathon is to pack as many entertaining movies in as possible. However, you have to wonder: what is the fewest movies in a 24-hour movie marathon? Thanks to the AMC blog (which only counts American movies) and a little scheduling math, the correct answer is “six movies”.
That’s a pretty impressive 4 hours each, minus a little bit of time for breaks. If you want to take on this grueling challenge, the movie descriptions are below, along with a movie marathon schedule where the movies are sorted from from longest to “shortest”.
If you dare to take this one on, I can only wish you good luck and godspeed.
My take: Hamlet is sad and discusses this at length, then manages to kill pretty much everyone in the cast. The best play ever written in the English language.
My take: Lee Marvin tries to cheer up depressed barflies by telling them to give up their foolish dreams. Amazingly, this does not go as well as Lee thought it would.
My take: One of the greatest movies ever, yada yada – hey – according to the plot synopsis, Lawrence organized guerrilla army “camel attacks”. I would really, really like to see a camel attack squad. Are they armored? Are they bred for their ferocity? I have so many questions.
Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship, Enterprise, its…oh…50-or-so-year mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new opportunities to make movies and TV shows, to boldly go to the couch and movie marathon like no one has before!
Regardless, Star Trek has massive staying power, and its only being revitalized further by the rebooted movie series. You can catch up on almost all of them in a mere 24 hours. Only the latest release, Star Trek: Beyond, doesn’t quite fit in. May you watch long and prosper!
My take: Take Star Trek and 2001: A Space Odyssey and put them in a blender, and what do you get? A lot of looking out the window at spacey stuff. Also features a hot bald chick.
My take: This movie bucks standard utilitarian ethics theory and claims that “The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many”. This is why this movie is shown in so many basic college ethics courses.
My take: The crew of Star Trek goes back to the 80s! Look at all the wackiness! Why, there’s an annoying guy with a boom box! That Spock doesn’t take any crap! Har! Kill me.
My take: The Borg assimilate earth by going back in time and messing with history. Only the crew of the Enterprise can stop it. Unless they tried the Borg did the same thing again a little later. Ah well.
My take: Mean guys with bad skin complexion cause trouble on a paradise planet. It’s like “Revenge of the Nerds”, but the nerds are evil and it isn’t high school.
My take: Captain Kirk follows no regulations and nearly gets his crew killed a dozen times. Thankfully Starfleet is attacked and most of the captains are killed. Job security!
