Disney Hand Drawn Animation Ultra-Marathon

When I was putting together my movie marathon schedules for the Disney animation studios movies, I was struck by the sheer volume of movies you could see in these movies, since they were so short.

I usually insert break times between movies in my movie marathons, since they are social events as much as movie-watching experiences. However, if you cut them out entirely, you then have two to three extra hours to play with. So in exchange for conversation and bathroom breaks, how many movies could you watch in one movie marathon? The answer is: eighteen!

I figure only hardcore Disney fanatics would participate in such madness so for this movie ultramarathon, I stuck to just the hand drawn Disney films. It seemed like something fanatics would do. If anyone out there is crazy enough to do this, you have to let me know how it turned out!

Disney Hand-Drawn Movies

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

My take: A wicked queen attempts to murder Snow White several times because Snow is prettier than the queen. Wouldn’t it have been less of a hassle for the Queen to use one of her appearance-altering potions to make herself prettier? That seems like a more direct route to achieve her goal.

Pinocchio

My take: Pinocchio the puppet comes alive, but to become a real boy, he must prove himself brave, truthful and unselfish. Man, the standards for boys made the old-fashioned way sure are low.

Dumbo

My take: Dumbo the elephant has big ears and is a little awkward, so he is mercilessly teased and exploited by members of the circus. Then he learns how to fly, and is no longer teased. The exploitation continues, but in a good way. The end.

Bambi

My take: A coming of age story of Bambi: the Great Prince of the Forest. His name and title aren’t quite as impressive as Simba: The Lion King, but I suppose even forests need kings too.

Cinderella

My take: Cinderella is emotionally abused by her step-mother and step-sisters. But, because she is pretty, she is saved from her crummy life by some standard-issue prince she knows nothing about. Second-wave feminism this a’int.

Alice in Wonderland

My take: The ultimate “and it was all a dream” story.

Peter Pan

My take: Peter Pan brings Wendy Darling (and her brothers) to Never Never land, where where a pixie, mermaids, and a pirate captain promptly attempt to murder her. A whimsical classic!

Lady and the Tramp

My take: “And they called it….puppy love.” – a little Paul Anka for you there. Hope you enjoyed it.

Sleeping Beauty

My take: A titanic struggle between Maleficent, the evil fairy / dragon / hellbeast and three good fairies. Other characters like Sleeping Beauty exist too, but they are pretty much puppets manipulated by the real power-holders in this kingdom.

101 Dalmations

My take: Cruella De Vil really, really wants a Dalmatian fur coat. I wonder if her psychological problems started with her parents, who gave her an anti-virtue name. Maybe if she was named “Charity De Vil” she would have started an animal shelter.

The Jungle Book

My take: A kid is raised by wolves and has lots of animal friends. He instantly forgets all that the second he sees a pretty girls. Men! So predictable!

The Little Mermaid

My take: A mermaid falls in love with the first human she sees, then gives up her entire life to marry him. A family movie classic!

Beauty and the Beast

My take: A typical love-triangle story of a  French inventor’s daughter, a muscular yet evil hunk, and a hideous man-beast with a heart of gold. You’ve seen one of these stories, you’ve seen them all.

Aladdin

My take: Robin Williams plays a crack-addicted genie who bestows near-infinite powers on any dope who gets his hands on a magic lamp. Hilarious disruptions of the space-time continuum follow.

The Lion King

My take: Lion kings battle each other in a vicious fight for ultimate supremacy. Its all part of the beautiful circle of life.

Mulan

My take: Mulan pretends to be a boy so she can almost single-handedly defeat the Hun invasion and save the emperor from assassination. She gets a nice thank-you from everyone involved. The end.

Tarzan

My take: A boy is raised by apes, later gets the chance to live with humans, but decides to stick with the apes. His human girlfriend Jane also agrees that apes are the way to go. Can you blame them?

The Princess and the Frog

My take: A two-minute children’s story is extended to an hour and a half by the introduction of a trumpet-playing alligator, among other things (how does he purse his lips?).

Disney Hand-Drawn Movie Schedule

So now you know all about the movies, but how do they fit into a 24-hour movie marathon schedule? Lucky for you, I have pre-packaged the 24-hour disney movie marathon schedule for you below. Do you think you can relive your childhood in 18 movies in 24 hours? There is only one way to find out!

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